Suffering, Demons, and Giant Crosses (The 1st 10K) *

"When the guy says go, you start to suffer -- or you might as well not be out there. It's a small piece of your life, make it hurt."


My little sister embodies this quote.  On the morning of our first 10K (which, of course, was rainy, cold, and windy), our conversation went something like this:


Me:  So, could we just keep a steady pace since this is our first 10K, so that we are not hurting for days and days after?
Baby sis:  Uh, we could, but we won't.  Even though we have not done much training, we will get out there and push ourselves to the extremes, and yes, plan on hurting for the next several days.


She knows us so well.  I stayed with her for  the first 2K and then could see glimpses of 634, her number, for the next couple of miles.  Then, I lost her and a small part of me (that sibling rivalry part) thought:  maybe I will catch her toward the end? 


I did not catch her and by the time I crossed she was holding Bode, had finished a water, and was asking the race directors if they were going off of chip time or clock time.  I was looking for a spot to throw up my morning Gatorade, but thankfully, shook it off.  I would be laughed at for days by my loving family had I of puked publicly.


The times were posted and I was bummed when I saw that I was thrown in my little sister's age category (her being 30, me being 39) - there goes my medal, but at least, my sister would be blog worthy. 


I finally got my runner's high when they announced:  In the 30-35 age female category:  2nd place to Bethany Wagener!  AND, the best part, we were not in the same age category ~ the hope for hardware was back. 

I was happy for my little sister ~ second place, and without much preparation.  But she is a total athlete, always has been, always will be.  For me, it's different.  I did not find my sports until my 30's, thanks, in part, to growing up in a tiny town that completely ignored Title IX.  Every time I step into competition these days, I feel the burden of proving myself, not for approval's sake, but for the journey I never had the opportunity to take as a young girl.  








The quote I embody is something more along the lines of:


Racing is a good way to outrun your own personal demons - be they past, present, or future.

So, when they called:  Heather Sheffield, 2nd place in the 35-39 age group, I felt like I really showed those demons a thing or two.  Plus, they gave me a giant cross.  If that does not shut 'em up for awhile, I don't know what will....other than planning our next run.